that was very nice of you. i thought long and hard about what the boon meant to me but ultimately realized that i am unable to accept your generosity. i don't want pity boons. i want to earn them for real.
i have donated your boon to a botbr who suffered a hefty deposit loss for bravely hosting a battle in a format that doesn't get enough love.
To the church of Trolls, whose Faith is being reported across the world's ends, and to my brother, DPC the Apostle, who has become an example for all the believers in our corner of the Web, today and forever: Grace and peace to you on your botb burfday.
I do not cease to give thanks for you as I mention you in prayer, remembering that you have remained ever faithful and steadfast, in spite of all the hardships and troubles of being a troll and a parasite. Although we toil along the rocky path, trolling and troll hosting OHBs in courage and profession of the Faith, you are as eager to preach the gospel as I, to both Nerds and Normies. For we are not ashamed of the gospel of Trolls, as we know of the Power it holds, and the Salvation to come. That I know you will always fight the good fight of the Faith, and take hold of the eternal life of before and after. For you are not ashamed to live true to yourself; that you will never be deceived by empty words and threats against the unmoving Truth, as it appears before us.
Apostle DPC, You shall never forget that we are onl y here to sacrifice away our earthly and mundane existence. We are here to bleed away our sorrows into the concrete manifestation, the Angsts of Trollery, while our souls remain virtuous and clean. And when the day comes and the trumpets roar, which grows nearer with every coming harvest, let it be on this day that the Soils crumble beneath us, and the Heavens fall. Such is the day that the Trolls assert their place in the Afterlife, alongside the Memers and the most blessed, the Spambots.
We are to remain firm to the end, so long as the ground doth remain firm, so that we be blameless on this day when the End approaches. On this day, all the mummis will unravel, and all the zombis will recohere, and all the trolls will leave behind their bridges, and all the parasites will leave behind their hosts. All of the worldly suffering will be absolved, as we enter the plane of before and after. Until then, you must never hold fear of today's chains, and in ceaseless perserverance, we shall break free from the shackles of persecution, and let our souls fly unfettered towards the honest Truth of Trollery.
May the Truth bring you peace and stability; and may your body and soul remain sound and blameless on this day when the End comes. I greet all of your Troll brethren on /r/shitpostemblem, as well as on this very site. Peace be to the whole community. Grace be with all whose earnest life of Trollery continues ever onward. Amen.