Vav
Level 24 Mixist
 
allgear
1st/34

 
inspiration 
2nd Σ5.592

 
spirit 
4th Σ5.430

 
altruism 
3rd Σ5.119

 
soullessness 
1st Σ6.119

 
business in pants 
1st Σ5.696

 
Your call is very important to us
 
  1st/43   Σ27.955   May 18th 2020 9:49pm
 
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35150
 
I work in retail. Just did some napkin math which gives a conservative estimate that I will spend ~287 days of my life waiting on hold in the normal course of my chosen career.

Be sure to keep listening until the end. You might miss when they pick up. In the meantime, enjoy some soothing formulaic music.
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nextious entry
A-zu-ra - Courage
 
121150
Level 27 Mixist
petet
 
 
 
post #121150 :: 2020.05.18 11:47pm
  
  mk7, Jakerson, gusg21 and Vav liēkd this
this is way too accurate and absolutely brilliant. loved the initial setup of the scenario, and listening all the way through is a tremendously frustrating experience as i'm sure you intended it to be.
 
 
121154
Level 22 Playa
xterm
 
 
 
post #121154 :: 2020.05.19 1:01am
  
  Jakerson, gusg21 and Vav liēkd this
this is amazing!

did you add the slight fuzz/distortion that i'm hearing, or is that a result of the low bitrate necessary to submit such a long entry? either way, that aspect makes it incredibly realistic (why does hold music's quality always sound so shitty, anyway??)
 
 
121155
Level 24 Mixist
Vav
 
 
 
post #121155 :: 2020.05.19 1:08am
  
  mirageofher, tennisers, sc, TrippleP, blunderspublik, mk7, Jakerson, gusg21, V5A, xterm, kleeder and petet liēkd this
Narrowed my EQ down to only cover 300 Hz - 3 kHz, which is roughly the range of most phone earpieces. Bitcrushed it a little and voila, sorta-kinda phone-y. After applying those 2 effects, it kind of didn't matter what bitrate I chose. Sounded pretty much the same all the way down to 32 kbps. Hardest part was getting my wife to agree to voice act for me. Her cameo is saying the word "two".
 
 
121163
Level 13 Chipist
maJsty14
 
 
post #121163 :: 2020.05.19 5:18am
  
  blunderspublik, mk7, Jakerson, Vav and gusg21 liēkd this
I thought the soulless fruits of the Corporate battle weren't supposed to instill emotion in the listener . . . so why am I feeling despair and frustration?

10/10 brilliant entry!
 
 
121167
Level 12 Mixist
gusg21
 
 
post #121167 :: 2020.05.19 5:50am
  
  Post-retro, xterm, Jakerson and Vav liēkd this
i've never actually been on hold, but i can imagine the fun and excitement that's conveyed through the cheery piano and wonderful melody!
 
 
121189
Level 27 Chipist
gotoandplay
 
 
 
post #121189 :: 2020.05.19 12:01pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
Argghgjjjhh
In other words, you nailed it
 
 
121259
Level 17 Chipist
Cryptovolans
 
 
 
post #121259 :: 2020.05.20 5:31pm
  
  Jakerson and Vav liēkd this
Yo we were on the same wavelength with this haha
 
 
121333
Level 26 Chipist
Galgox
 
 
 
post #121333 :: 2020.05.21 7:20pm
  
  sc, TrippleP, Post-retro and Vav liēkd this
Definitely worth listening to all 18 minutes, the experience wouldn't be the same without doing so.
 
 
121383
Level 31 Chipist
kleeder
 
 
 
post #121383 :: 2020.05.23 7:41am
  
  boscutti939, TrippleP, Post-retro, Tobikomi, Chip Champion, Jakerson, maJsty14, Vav, amelia and blunderspublik liēkd this
cool entry. is there an extended version?
 
 
121386
Level 11 Mixist
blunderspublik
 
 
post #121386 :: 2020.05.23 9:24am
  
  Vav hæitd this
I made it to 5:24
 
 
121403
Level 24 Mixist
Vav
 
 
 
post #121403 :: 2020.05.23 3:46pm
  
  sc and maJsty14 liēkd this
weak
 
 
121404
Level 8 Mixist
LuridHex
 
 
post #121404 :: 2020.05.23 4:01pm :: edit 2020.05.23 4:03pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
I put down a controller and logged back in for this. Gah- this is amazing. I was like, fav @ 33 seconds. (Listening while writing) I use to work for a 1st tier down-stream affiliate of a national health-care before I" souled" my soul to Hot Topic (at least for the time being since I get to do mini live chip performances during my lunch breaks) and let me tell yah- this! This summarizes the feelings of so many callers that I received at what is now...the 8 minute marker. I love it ♡ can't wait to look/listen to the other stuff you've made so far at a later date Vav. Thank you for this.
 
 
121733
Level 7 Mixist
Sitor
 
 
post #121733 :: 2020.05.29 1:49pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
brilliant
 
 
121735
Level 25 Chipist
Jakerson
 
 
 
post #121735 :: 2020.05.29 2:55pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
i listened to this...twice :D
 
 
121860
Level 23 Grafxicist
big lumby
 
 
 
post #121860 :: 2020.05.31 3:02pm :: edit 2020.05.31 3:02pm
  
  sc, TrippleP and Vav liēkd this
this is so realistic and hilarious at the same time i love it lol
 
 
121862
Level 31 Chipist
kleeder
 
 
 
post #121862 :: 2020.05.31 3:12pm
  
  TrippleP liēkd this
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
pls let it win
 
 
121901
Level 7 Criticist
V5A
 
 
post #121901 :: 2020.06.01 11:23am
  
  Modus Ponens, Sloopygoop, Galgox, Grumskiz and Vav liēkd this
there are
two
 
 
122358
Level 26 Mixist
sc
 
 
 
post #122358 :: 2020.06.08 5:30pm
  
  argarak, charlotte, Sloopygoop, TrippleP, kleeder and Vav liēkd this
The only thing that would make this more realistic/worse would be if the music stopped and started again in a loop offbeat. This is hilarious.
 
 
122360
Level 24 Mixist
Vav
 
 
 
post #122360 :: 2020.06.08 9:18pm
  
  aji and Sloopygoop liēkd this
true realism/cruelty would also require me to hard-pan everything to one ear, but alas i was too kind
 
 
122414
Level 16 Chipist
Sloopygoop
 
 
post #122414 :: 2020.06.10 2:40pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
Wow, this is perfect. Kind of catchy too, just like it so often is... +1 for blistering piccolo solo.
 
 
122565
Level 31 Chipist
kleeder
 
 
 
post #122565 :: 2020.06.14 1:09pm
  
  CastleNes, mk7, Jakerson and Vav liēkd this
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
im glad it won
 
 
122654
Level 15 Playa
Grumskiz
 
 
post #122654 :: 2020.06.15 7:51am
  
  Vav liēkd this
Unfortunately this song is my life right now :|
Fortunately this song makes it fucking hilarious
 
 
123435
Level 10 Criticist
Xu
 
 
post #123435 :: 2020.07.11 9:18am
  
  Vav liēkd this
I'm on hold with UPS right now. I want you to know I legit got flashbacks to this entry right now.
 
 
123488
Level 17 Mixist
Viravax
 
 
 
post #123488 :: 2020.07.12 7:05am
  
  YQN and Vav liēkd this
I have legit listened to this on loop a few times. It's great to listen to while I'm working
 
 
123853
Level 26 Mixist
aji
 
 
 
post #123853 :: 2020.07.22 4:22pm
  
  YQN and Vav liēkd this
there are two callers ahead of me
 
 
125997
Level 23 XHBist
CastleNes
 
 
 
post #125997 :: 2020.08.26 1:43am
  
  Vav liēkd this
Hey, seems your real job IRL is to make corporate music? It sounds to real ahah!
Congratz for the win!
 
 
130289
Level 24 XHBist
mirageofher
 
 
 
 
post #130289 :: 2020.11.09 11:56am
  
  Vav liēkd this
this frustrates me so much XD

great job!!!
 
 
132845
Level 23 Chipist
YQN
 
 
 
post #132845 :: 2020.12.18 1:26pm
  
  Vav liēkd this
can i use it as my answering machine message :)
 
 
132852
Level 24 Mixist
Vav
 
 
 
post #132852 :: 2020.12.18 2:28pm
  
  YQN liēkd this
yes
 
 
133906
Level 13 Chipist
Svipal
 
 
post #133906 :: 2021.01.01 11:04am :: edit 2021.01.01 11:10am
I hate it
Edit: wanted to post a second comment saying "good job" under this for *comedic timing* ,but I can't apparently,so...
 
 
133919
Level 24 Mixist
Vav
 
 
 
post #133919 :: 2021.01.01 3:02pm
  
  Thingerthing liēkd this
bottom text
 
 
139142
Level 22 Chipist
ASIKWUSpulse
 
 
 
post #139142 :: 2021.03.20 5:58am
  
  Vav liēkd this
How can the music be stereo if this is over telephone... But this is indeed not far from how I once made a call to an insurance-service telepone-exchange :D
 
 

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