rip gumbo the yummy gummy bear
I mourn the loss of my beloved gummy bear. We were the best of friends, inseparable soulmates created for each other. We used to frolic in the happy and colourful fields of cutieland springs. We told each other jokes and laughed at them and we used to dance to the tune of the tuney tune by mr tune. Then we would sit under the starry stars and count all of them and sleep. There was literally nothing that could go wrong.
Then one day, I got very very hungry. Unfortunately, we had no candy canes or gumdrops; we had exhausted the supply in the cutie friends eating compo. There remained a few candy crumbs in the satchel.
We ventured onward, hoping to find a goopy goo tree which has goopy goo sap dripping down the trees. We could mould it and create gumdrops with it. Alas, there were only formaldehyde filly flowers scattered about this endless field and nothing to eat.
And what's this in the distance??? Oh look a goopy goo tree! Gumbo and I proceeded to dance in circles singing to the tune of tuney tune by mr tune. But then some meanie men came over with their big meanie monster truck and axed down that goopy goo tree. I fell to the ground crying "NO! NO! NOT US! WHY????????? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".
Gumbo patted my back and stroked my hair and said in a soothing voice "shhhhhh shhhhh, it's all right now...no need to worry"
"THERE IS PLENTY OF REASONS TO WORRY! THOSE MEANIE MEN CHOPPED DOWN OUR LAST HOPE AT SURVIVAL AND WE CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!!" I lashed back in tears.
I cried for 15 days, 8 hours, 1 minute, and 47 seconds. Then Gumbo had an idea. "Well, I'm technically edible...you could just eat me..."
"How could I possibly eat you Gumbo, you silly willy??"
"Well, it's not like I have any purpose in life anymore, my wife died and my children left me and I'm unemployed."
"You do have purpose in life! You're my best friend and soulmate! You brought meaning to a child that once had none and brought direction to a child who was once lost! And that child is me!"
"But my purpose is to be eaten! I was manufactured in a Haribo factory but somehow escaped and discovered the outside world. I was manufactured to be eaten! That is my purpose!"
"No, this is the only hope you have!"
Gumbo proceeded to build a fire and placed a cup under the fire. I was puzzled at why he was doing this but I let him continue. Then he stepped in the fire.
"GUMBO NO!!!!!" I screamed as I ran over and tried to pull him out of the fire. He just pushed me away and I fell to the ground. "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOOOOOD, DRINK ME PLEASE!!!!!! AAAAAAAA" screamed Gumbo as he slowly melted into the cup.
I sat there on the ground, crying again, this time for 30 days, 8 hours, 1 minute, and 43 seconds. Then, slowly I picked up the cup and......very slowly........drank out of it.....crying and choking. I cried more and more. I cried and died.
Then I got up and walked in the distance to the Sad. Sad. swamps where the trees sang Sad. songs.
also this is goluigi's entry to spring tracks 2 which is probably unrelated to this story